Archive | November, 2008

……….

13 Nov

I want to know whats wrong with me. I want to know why do I feel so troubled when finals are over and I’m having my semester break. I want to know why people will just give up on a friendship because of what others say. I want to know why friends draw lines with their friends. I want to know why I can’t drop that topic. I have so many questions right now and I don’t think there are answers to it actually. And its damn freaking annoying. I need my BFFs. BADLY. Come back quick, darlings.

Another Litre of Tears

9 Nov

When we complain for having to walk around without a car, She was striving to make her legs strong and walk to classes though she’s so slow, by the time she reaches, the class ended already.
When we complain about having too much assignments, boring lectures, She was fighting to be in the school when other students’ parents said she should go somewhere else, somewhere with students like her.

When we complain about the food, being tasteless, not properly cooked, not hot/cold enough, all She wanted to do was to swallow it, not to get choked by it.

I’m not talking about someone I know in person, in fact she passed away even before I was born but her story was such an eye-opener. It’s a drama now, called ‘One Litre of Tears’. The story of Aya is like this. She’s like any normal 15 year old in Japan, trying very hard to get into a local prestigious high school, and she got in. She even made it into the basketball team and became a regular though she was in her first year. Nothing was different about her except that she falls a lot. At first they thought she was just plain clumsy but her mother, a health consultant and former nurse noticed she was slightly different. When she fell, she didn’t hurt her palms, but she fell right on her chin.

She went for a check up and discovered she had this rare, incurable disease. I forgot whats the scientific name but its got something to do with a particular cell in the brain breaking up for unknown reasons. She will have difficulties in estimating distances and controlling her body, hence won’t be able to talk, walk, eat, or even breathe normally. Her internal organs become very weak, too. If she catches a cold, she might get pneumonia.

So, the drama is about how she coped with life after getting that disease. The drama was very realistic in the sense that not all, in fact many didn’t want to help her despite being really close when she was healthy. Her senior, whom she liked since first grade and got together shortly before she was diagnosed dumped her as he was afraid of the responsibilities. Her good friend complained that it was too tiring to help her carry her wheelchair up the stairs. Her classmates said she was slowing them down in class.

Then again, there was her ever encouraging family, her mother especially, being her pillar of strength, helping her up whenever she fell and telling her she’ll carry her if she can no longer walk. Her doctor, who continuously worked on the researches in spite of negative results all the time. Her best friend since junior high was there to help her copy notes when she couldn’t keep up cause she was having difficulties in writing. And my favourite character, her boyfriend, who was earlier her classmate, who was coping with his brother’s death and told her if she wants to talk, he’ll listen no matter how long it takes for her to utter a syllable, he’ll walk with her no matter how slow the pace is. But she told him she didn’t want to see him anymore in the end as she was getting more ill, even wet her pants in front of him cause she couldn’t make it to the toilet in time.

I cried from the second episode until the last. Though there were only 11 episodes, my eyes were so swollen, it hurts when I blink(I’m not exaggerating, really damn pain!!). It was a really good drama. I was really angry at the one who introduced me this show, for making me cry so badly (the last time I cried like this was when my grandma passed away) but grateful at the same time for reminding me to be thankful to be able to talk and laugh the way I want and not fret over being not pretty or thin enough. That there’s always a bright side in everything.

`At the shades of sadness, it is said to always have a smile quoted from One Litre Of Tears

p/s: Anyone wants to watch can get it from me! I got the DVD! =)

The View Outside My Window

7 Nov
I was dipping my favourite breakfast since I got in uni, Luxury crackers into a cup of Nescafe while looking out the windows in my room. There’s nothing spectacular about it, just a forest(yes, there’s a forest in UM surprisingly). In the evenings you can even see the monkeys playing around and at that time, everyone will be shutting their windows as the monkeys will intrude into the rooms if the windows are opened.

Anyway, I wrote this cause I was remembering the first time when I got into my room, I was disappointed to see the jungle. Afraid, too as you know, a lot of ‘things’ in the jungle one.

I was with my mom that time, who helped me with my luggages. I was really glad she was there with me, not because I would have to carry my awfully heavy suitcase, together with two bags and a pillow to my room which was on the third floor all by myself if she wasn’t but the reminder she and my dad ‘carry’ with them, that I must be happy to get into University of Malaya, though I was dying to go somewhere further as UM is(was) one of the top universities in the country. I remember telling her “I’ll be fine, you can go now” when she asked if I needed anything else before she leaves. Despite the confident, independent look I put up, I was really hoping she would stay with me a little longer. I didn’t turn back when she left.

Then, my roommate came. Her mom was with us the whole time, excited about everything, getting nervous over the smallest things. She was even telling us what to call each other, our nick names so that we’ll remember each other’s names(remembering names was a freaking hard thing in uni cause all Chinese names one). But my roommate’s was an easy one, Siew Peng. She’s Grace, too but I like Siew Peng better, cause she looks more like a Siew Peng than a Grace.

The next five days after that was hell.

It was Orientation. Five days are considered short but hell, Orientation was both mentally torturing and physically tiring at that time. I remember the first two days being the hardest. They were constantly yelling at us, telling us our 4.0 in STPM is nothing in uni(I didn’t even score close to 4.0 but still kena, wtf) so don’t be proud of it and stuffs like that. Our programme book wrote we are supposed to sleep at 11 and wake up at 6 but they let us off earliest at 12 but woke us up at 3 for a fire drill.
Everyday we slept less than 3 hours and we got about 5 minutes to eat and bathe only so nope, the last two days I didn’t bother to bathe anymore. And can only wear the same two shirts throughout Orientation, so nope, no time to wash also.
The worst part, they shut us out from the outside world. We’re not allowed to use our handphones, must off them, cannot even turn on silent mode. I remember reading Jessica and Heng Li’s messages before I go to bed and I feel like crying every time I do so. Jess purposely stayed up one night to call and chat with me and I felt extremely happy after that though I didn’t get to sleep. My parents didn’t call though, as they knew UM’s tradition, orientation=torture new comers.

Despite it all, Orientation is actually one of the fond memories in university so far.

I didn’t have any close friends as they won’t let us talk.
But there were slots for the Chinese Club (when the malays are praying) that I always look forward to as this club gives me a feeling that I’m part of the big family in college. Among the Chinese community, that is. And the seniors came back and told us, bananas not to worry as they will not discriminate us though they speak mandarin during their activities. We even have a Banana Club in the Chinese Club. At that moment, I knew I will join this club’s activities with full commitment. And I made it to becoming the ‘Timbalan Pengarah’ of Pesta Tionghua, an event organized by all the Chinese first years in the college(college is our hostel) in March next year. And I’m very proud of it. =)

Now, the view outside my window, though it hasn’t change a bit in appearance wise, it gives me a totally different feeling. The feeling of being home (room in college is my home in uni), the feeling of being belonged to somewhere, in the university. I wouldn’t have said this, not even think its possible 3 months ago but I’m sure I’m gonna miss uni during the semester break.

Something Siew Peng made to put on our door

My second home

The left is mine, right is Siew Peng’s(she got damn a lot of books)

Siew Peng and I

My Chinese Club ‘family’ CC Trip

Happy Happy!!

6 Nov
Finals finally over!!

Actually got one more paper tomorrow but its Maths so don’t really need to study. Can continue my drama marathon! Hehe. Gonna start on ‘One Litre of Tears’ after this. =)

Two Buddies and A Sister

2 Nov
Had quite a rough day earlier today. But a buddy, actually two, cheered me up though it was just through sms and msn. Then Xinyi was kind enough to buy me a dress for the coming Majlis Anugerah Kurshiah (MAK). I’m feeling so much better now and will continue my revisions on Titas and Financial Management sooooonnn!!
Oh, I was browsing through Facebook and saw these pictures. I miss those days with them so much!!

Some of my form6 classmates

My Two-Full-of-Nonsense-Best-Friend =)

The not-so-SSed side of them

Me, Karine, Jess and Audrey

With New Best Friend and BFFs!

Sampat Yean

Can’t wait for semester break suddenly!! Everyone will be back!! =)