22 Apr

I just came up from the Bilik TV in my hostel, after talking to Wei Kuan, Pak Koon, Louise and Elensha.

We planned to study but the list of people who gets to stay in college just came out and what do you know, we all started talking about it.

Anyway, I managed to get over the anger I felt earlier for seeing names which I haven’t even heard before on the list but a few active ones don’t get to stay, so I am not going to talk about it anymore here.

Reason for this post is…

I feel a little lost lately.

Like I don’t know what is the point to study at such last minutes but I need to, cause I haven’t even been listening in classes.

Or why the hell am I so dumb that I need 3 hours to finish up one, just one small part of Public Administration.

And… I don’t know…

Something is really disturbing me but I can’t exactly say what it is, cause I don’t even know what.

At times, though I’m walking with a big group of close friends, I still feel terribly lonely.

It is not their fault at all, they are really nice people, nothing’s wrong with them, it’s ME.

4 Responses to “Reason?”

  1. Belle April 23, 2009 at 3:30 pm #

    i understand how you feel.. been feeling it LOADS this year… dun worry about it and dun think so much about it… it’ll be alright soon enuf… haha.. like i pro like that… i’m learning how to handle the ‘ALONE’ feeling too la.. so take care la.. and all the best again.. heehee… wished you so MANY times edi…

    And about the list, it’s known to be like that la…politics and such…sheesh…

    *pokes* ;P

  2. Xin Min April 23, 2009 at 6:09 pm #

    Belle: Hmm.. Thing is my biggest fear is to be alone, I think. hehe. But I’m feeling a lot better now. Probably the exams were stressing me out also. Thanks again! And Belle, though you’re not going to stay next sem, we’re still going to count you in our watsoever activities, k. So you must come back and visit us!!

  3. chelsea April 25, 2009 at 2:05 pm #

    i know! cuz u’re missing me! ;p

    you have always been the most independant one. and we were never once worried about you but this post really took me a back.

    but truthfully, this always happen. because we are all in the learning curves of life, we tend to lose the purpose and often question ourselves why or why not? times like these, ask yourself deep down, what do you REALLY want and what do u think is your priority for the moment.

    appreciate every little thing, be more positive and more contented. that way, things will be more simple and eventually you’ll be a happier person 😉

    can’t wait for you to come home for the semester break.

    remember! when everyone fails u, we’re always around for you at home. you are NOT alone 🙂

  4. Xin Min April 26, 2009 at 3:39 pm #

    chelsea(ce): Haha.. I know.. I hate to be dependent and worry the old folks at home when they already have so much things in mind.. Anyway, I know I have five great people at home (and a dog) thats gonna back me up no matter what.. Will be home soon. =)Can’t wait!

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