I don’t Know.

8 Sep

My mood for the past two days been up and down, oh well just down mostly like never before.

What I usually do when things like these strike is I…well, I cry.

Nothing cures it better than just letting it out and telling myself, tomorrow’s going to be a brand new day!

But this time, I couldn’t. And I just choose to not let it out. I hate to cry.

And I’m glad I didn’t. Because I finally realized I can, after all get back up on my feet with mood back to normal without having to cry.

Nevertheless, it’s a wake up call. Just a reminder that sometimes life is not that simple or easy as I’ve wished for it to be.

I always, oh well used to believe being myself, in that state where I’m comfortable and happy is most important.

Nothing else matters. And there’s no point putting up a mask throughout your life because you’ll just end up being not happy.

But what good will it do, to just be yourself when being yourself is just not good enough?

When you are still not meeting expectations of those whom you care about most.

When being yourself, doing your best is never good enough for them.

No matter how hard you try to make things better, it just won’t do.

On the contrary, people whom you’ve just known for maybe a year or two seem to be more proud of you.

Should you be happy?

Should I be happy?

To know that these people I’ve just met seem to know me better than those who’ve known me all my life.

I’m not getting anywhere and I’m really not making any sense.

I don’t know what am I writing.