Less is More

5 Nov

There’s a saying in Chinese that says something like you don’t teach people to hit their kids, and you also don’t encourage people to divorce.

Little did I know, this saying, proverb or whatever it is, is so true.

I know it’s difficult for people to refrain themselves from being kepoh and gossip about others especially when it comes to relationships.

Honestly, I do that (quite often) too but what I’m trying to say here is, save the comments or thoughts to yourself if that person with a troubled relationship is your good friend.

A friend who will take your advice or words into consideration because you’ll never know what impact those so-called wise words from you bring.

Come on, when it comes to a relationship, since when anyone thinks with their brains instead of their hearts. Even if there are people who actually act or think rationally they are plain losers when it comes to being romantic.

Because being romantic and hopelessly in love is about being irrational too!

You think Jack and Rose were that rational to think that they should jump if either one jumps first? Hell no!

Obviously, if you are a really really good friend, BFF material then it’s a whole different story. Because if you were so close to your buddy, you would know what is going on and that makes you eligible to talk.

But when you are just a friend, a little better than acquaintances but just not best friends yet, I would advise you to remain silent.

Because when your friend tells you an update (whether it’s a split or a hook up), he or she isn’t expecting to hear your thoughts. Instead, he/she just wants to update you as a courtesy.

I mean, who are you in the first place to even comment when you don’t know what exactly is going on in your friend’s life.

I’ll give an example.

Say, Guy A & Girl X been together since forever and everyone thought given the duration they’ve been together they SHOULD get married and settle down and voila, happy ending~

Unfortunately they split after their 8th year anniversary. And what would you say?

I am pretty sure the first thing that people in general would say, “Why? You’ve been together since high school when he had such a major acne problem yet you loved him unconditionally!”

Or, “You should have done that like twenty zillion years ago babe! He’s so totally not worth it.”

Do you think Girl X will just shake it off as if neither one of those comment didn’t hurt at all?

No one in this world will not be upset over a break up. Whether or not they show it right at your face, it’s an entirely different story. So don’t act as though you know what’s going on and behave like the best philosopher ever lived.

Instead, offer your buddy a hug. And say, “Whatever you do, I hope you’re happier now.”

See what difference that makes? You are standing on the fence yet your friend would feel better because you do sound like you’re offering your support.

Because in the end, you are not the one staying with your friend till the ends of the world.

Neither are you the one who will bring him/her as much joy as his/her partner.

So, show some support to your friend in a good way and also some respect for yourself.

No one’s going to say anything about you commenting too little.

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2 Responses to “Less is More”

  1. jessieloi November 5, 2010 at 10:43 pm #

    I totally agree.

    In situations like this, the worst thing to tell someone is, “I told you so.” The worst!

    Sometimes less is more. And sometimes all we need to do is to lend our friend a shoulder to cry on, a listening ear or give them a big big hug.

    • Xin Min November 6, 2010 at 3:53 pm #

      JLoi: That’s why we’re BFFs!!! 🙂

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